The best jokes about women

Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 50.17 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, love, women
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, stupid, women
Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women