The best jokes about women

Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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has 55.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, terrorist, women
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 55.16 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end… "And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 54.58 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
"Sorry sir, are these plastic flowers?" "As natural!" "What? They are natural?" "No, plastic!" "But, for Christ Sake, sir! Are they natural or plastic?" "Natural plastic!"
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: god, women
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