The best jokes about women

Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
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has 56.10 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, time, women
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, women
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
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has 55.84 % from 715 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, women
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: time, women
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: funeral, lawyer, women
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