A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end… "And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common? A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future. Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.