The best jokes about women

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, women
Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, wife, women
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Vote: has 46.97 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, black people, wife, women
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage…
Vote: has 46.53 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women