The best jokes about women

A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: funeral, lawyer, women
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, cowboy, disgusting, horse, women
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, alcohol, drug, women
Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
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More jokes about: women, work
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.
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More jokes about: beauty, travel, women
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, love, marriage, women
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina? A: A woman.
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, vulgar, women
"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, ginger, women


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