The best jokes about women

Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt." And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest. "These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form. When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened. "You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
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More jokes about: age, marriage, money, wife, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote: has 51.11 % from 180 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
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More jokes about: food, lesbian, women
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, ginger, women
Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
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Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women