The best jokes about women

Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
Vote: has 54.83 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, women
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Vote: has 54.81 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beauty, husband, women
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, men, women
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Vote: has 53.62 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, love, marriage, women
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
Vote: has 53.15 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, military, women
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics? A: To keep the flies off the chicken
Vote: has 52.97 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, women