The best jokes about women

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 47.36 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.” So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, “Are you understanding this game?” The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.” Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four balls.” The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: sport, women
Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's Rights.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, women
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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has 47.15 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: death, women
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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has 47.14 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: women
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, political, ugly, women
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, insulting, women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, love, women
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