The best jokes about women

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Vote: has 46.29 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, women
Question: What do women and Slinkies have in common? Answer: Not really too much, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex, women
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
Vote: has 46.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, life, women
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Vote: has 46.16 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Vote: has 46.07 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, beer, black people, wife, women
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote: has 46.02 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, love, women


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