Q: Why are hangovers better than women? A: Hangovers will go away.
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q: Who were the first two black women? A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.