The best jokes about women

He: So then, what's your sign? She: Dollar.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage…
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has 48.25 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: women
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: women
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: women
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: athlete, sex, women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bar, women
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: time, wife, women
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
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