The best jokes about women

How fast can a women drive? 68 mph. If she hits 69, she flips over and blows a rod.
Vote: has 43.61 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: travel, women
Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ? A fifty pound note !
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!"
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: hospital, women
Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, women
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Vote: has 41.89 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, men, women
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
Vote: has 41.30 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, husband, women
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
Vote: has 40.80 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, travel, women


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