The best jokes about women

Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
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has 45.95 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.
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has 45.88 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: racist, white people, wine, women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bar, women
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why did God create women? A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: god, women
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, insulting, women
How fast can a women drive? 68 mph. If she hits 69, she flips over and blows a rod.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
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