The best jokes about women

A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, geek, IT, women
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, marriage, women
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America. She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?" The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya" And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum" The guy says: "In that case follow me" So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!" So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone, technology, women
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 39.62 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, women
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, women
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, women