The best jokes about women

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men, women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Vote: has 39.21 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 39.02 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Vote: has 38.99 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, women
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 38.25 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women