The best jokes about women

How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, women
There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!"
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: hospital, women
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
Vote:
has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Vote:
has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, women
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote:
has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
Vote:
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, women
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
Vote:
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
Girl: why am I still single? Brain: you're weird as shit. Body: and you're fat. Face: plus you're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
Vote:
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Vote:
has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, women
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote:
has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
<<<54555657
More jokes →
Page 54 of 65.