The best jokes about women

There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: hospital, women
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, women
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.” So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, “Are you understanding this game?” The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.” Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four balls.” The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: sport, women
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, time, women
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, husband, women
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
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