To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”