The best work jokes

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: office, work
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: desert island, food, work
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't. Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard. A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german. A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, dog, money, phone, work
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: time, work
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, work
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