The best work jokes

God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
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has 65.81 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: asian, geography, god, work
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: office, work
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 65.68 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: desert island, food, work
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, ugly, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: time, work
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, work
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