The best work jokes

Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
has 67.21 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, vulgar, work
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
has 67.09 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, women, work
In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness. He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness. After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, work
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
has 66.49 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, work, Yo mama
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: time, work
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, work
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
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