The best work jokes

Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote: has 66.94 % from 242 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, women, work
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
Vote: has 66.76 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, geography, god, work
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, work
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beer, old people, work
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work


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