Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
A builder was once building a fence to surround a farmer's sheep.
The builder finished, and the farmer was ready to pay.
The builder then came up to the farmer and said: "Sir, I hope this isn't too a-fenc-ive.
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A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job.
The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar.
The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you?
The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright.
Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed:
- to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying.
- to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin.
- to be a Nobel Prize winner.
- to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time.
- he was fired "on accident."
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If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.
The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world."
Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
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