The best work jokes

Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political, work
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, racist, work
Dear Husband, I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me. Love, Dishes
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has 62.82 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, work
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
Q:What's the most dangerous job in America? A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
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has 62.37 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: racist, work
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
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