The best work jokes

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football, hospital, sport, work
Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other. After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it. Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?" "Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response. Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, stupid, work
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life, money, work
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the library to get an application for a library card they said: "I need your ID" she gave them an EBT card.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: stupid, work, Yo mama
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, time, work
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, work
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