The best work jokes

A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
There was this Mexican guy, Black guy, and Asian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss calls a meeting with them about today's work. They were all pretty new, so they had to be assigned jobs  He says to the Mexican guy, "You're in charge of the cement."  He says to the Black guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."  He says to the Asian guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."  After delegating out all the responsibilities he says, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're all fired." The boss was quite serious and had a reputation for being shrewd. They immediately get to work.  At the end of the day, the boss comes back and checks on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and says, "Nice work," to the Mexican guy. He looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Nice work," to the Black guy. He looks around and can't find the Asian guy anywhere so he asks, "Where the heck is that Asian guy?"  All of a sudden, the Asian jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: racist, work
Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, life, work
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
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