Q: What are three things you can't give a black person? A: A black eye, a fat lip and a job.
Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."
How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?" The man says "I'm probably too honest." The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality." The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?" "No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."