The best work jokes

Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: women, work
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
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has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: work
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
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has 55.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"  "No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, work
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, work
Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: ugly, work, Yo mama
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