The best work jokes

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, work
Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the library to get an application for a library card they said: "I need your ID" she gave them an EBT card.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: stupid, work, Yo mama
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, food, work
Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women, work
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
Vote: has 55.13 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, car, Chuck Norris, work
A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
Vote: has 54.73 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, marriage, medical, wife, work
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: catholic, kids, work, Yo mama
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, easter, food, work


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