Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
A: He thought he saw a job.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Yell at her.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
A father went to take his daughter from school.
While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!"
"With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her.
"Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A: A lazy b*tch.
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