What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
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Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works .