The best work jokes

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him. The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head. A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately. The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cop, drunk, work
Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don't work and always take your money.
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has 53.98 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, racist, work
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, work
They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dentist, work
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women, work
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women, work
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, money, technology, work
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