The best work jokes

Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works
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has 50.90 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black people, work
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
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has 50.78 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: game, kids, money, work
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: insulting, political, republican, stupid, work
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, work
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, money, technology, work
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, cop, death, work
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter, food, work
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, work
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