An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me."
Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work.
The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat.
The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde:
"So, do you see any cops?"
The blonde replies: "Yes!"
The brunette says: "Are they behind us?"
"Yes!"
"Are they close?"
"Yes!"
"Are they going to stop us?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, are their lights on?"
The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
What are the 3 things you cannot give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, or a job.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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A guy dials his home phone number from work.
A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answered the woman.
"We don’t have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming.
He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
"What do I have to do?"
"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with."
The maid puts down the phone.
The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What pool?”"
"Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
Me "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! Can I take your Mcorder?"
Boss "You don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
Me "Oh okay. Hi! Welcome to Donalds! Can I take your order?"
Boss "Get out."
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Joke has 43.02 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, management, work