The best work jokes

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
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has 43.84 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: black people, celebrity, political, racist, work
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: military, war, work
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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has 43.55 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, sex, work
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: sex, stupid, work, Yo mama
Me "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! Can I take your Mcorder?" Boss "You don't have to put Mc in front of everything." Me "Oh okay. Hi! Welcome to Donalds! Can I take your order?" Boss "Get out."
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has 43.51 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, management, work
At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at Work'." "Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military, work
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
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