As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
Me "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! Can I take your Mcorder?" Boss "You don't have to put Mc in front of everything." Me "Oh okay. Hi! Welcome to Donalds! Can I take your order?" Boss "Get out."
At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at Work'." "Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"
Q:What's the most dangerous job in America? A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out? A: He was already taking out a tooth.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.