As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
Q:What's the most dangerous job in America? A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out? A: He was already taking out a tooth.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Me: How do I unsubscribe so I don't get your emails any more? Boss: What?
I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.