Best jokes ever

How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
Vote:
has 44.90 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: asian, Chuck Norris
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gay, gym, love
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, work
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town? He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A wife returns late at night back home. "Where have you been?" asks her husband. "With a friend. But don't worry, there were no men." One day later the husband returns back home late. "Don't worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…"
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Q: What does NAACP stand for? A: National Association of Apes Called People
Vote:
has 44.82 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black people
<<<1068106910701071
More jokes →
Page 1068 of 1426.