The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
Chuck Norris Watches "the Nat.Geo. Specials" on Discovery Channel.
What's a rabbits favorite TV show? Hoppy Days.
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped. What's a tiger? A stri-ped.