Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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You all know why the government got rid of the mafia?
They don't like completion.
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
"Because he shot the ball!"
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
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Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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How come niggers don’t drive convertible cars?
Because they’re lips would wave on the wind and stick on their faces.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.