Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.
Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times? A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.