The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
A wife returns late at night back home. "Where have you been?" asks her husband. "With a friend. But don't worry, there were no men." One day later the husband returns back home late. "Don't worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…"
Q: What's the difference between jews and boyscouts? A: Boyscouts come back from their camp.
What do you call 1/4 of the black population on the moon? problem what do you call 1/2 of the black population on the moon? problem what do you call 3/4 of the black population on the moon? problem what do you call all of the blacks on the moon? PROBLEM SOLVED!
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away all the W's!
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.