Best jokes ever

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
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More jokes about: old people
Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
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More jokes about: stupid, technology, Yo mama
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what's grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner. But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
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More jokes about: disgusting
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
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More jokes about: animal
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
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More jokes about: animal, celebrity
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
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More jokes about: animal
How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
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More jokes about: animal, heaven
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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More jokes about: animal
What US state has the most cows? Moosouri.
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More jokes about: animal
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
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More jokes about: blonde