Best jokes ever

There a ventriloquist telling blond joke . A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know." The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"
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Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out of a window.
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She is so blonde, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went back home.
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A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
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I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
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What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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