Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Me "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! Can I take your Mcorder?" Boss "You don't have to put Mc in front of everything." Me "Oh okay. Hi! Welcome to Donalds! Can I take your order?" Boss "Get out."
Q: Why do blacks have flat noses? A: That's where God put his foot when he pulled off their tails.
Q: Why did the white man cross the road? A: To steal our land and enslave our children.
Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.