A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis.
He says to the doctor "My penis is too small."
Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch."
So the man thanks the doctor and leaves.
He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch.
Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy.
A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker.
"Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Why do nigger's have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth.
The Priests confess his sins.
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Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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