Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
Q: How did the sand get wet? A: The sea weed!
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.