Q: What do you call the most powerful white man on the planet? A: The President of the Unit...sh*t.
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
Yo momma’s so ugly, people make jokes about her.
One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. The drunk waved his dick at her and said "So is this!"