What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was. The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O". The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?" The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.