E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…
Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet? Identification.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Ramu: A teacher.
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.