A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York.
When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry.
Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat."
The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat."
The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response.
The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde.
The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move.
He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married.
Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you.
Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
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What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?'
"The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Why do nigger's have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
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How do you keep 5 black guys from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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