Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Vote:
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
About 40 lb.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
Vote:
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!
There was a crooked woman,
who ran a crooked mile.
She found a crooked Weiner,
who always made her smile.
She belongs in prison,
for she is just a crook.
And if you don't believe me,
you can read it in her book.
Vote:
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed?
Her toes curl up when you screw her.