How do you keep 5 black guys from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.
Once upon a time, in a far away land, a beautiful independent, confident princess met a frog, while sitting and considering the environmental issues of the world, at the side of an infected lake, in a very green meadow, near her castle.
The frog jumped on princess’ knees and said: "My sweet lady, once I was a handsome prince, until an evil witch cursed me.
I f you kiss me, however, I will become again that graceful prince I once was.
Then, my sweety, we will get married and we will live in your castle, and you will cook for me, you will wash my clothes, and you will give birth to my childre and you will feel so happy and graceful for being able to do all these things forever!"
That night, the princess enjoying her nice cooked frog legs, she chuckled inside and thought: "...and then he woke up."
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.