Best jokes ever

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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has 80.51 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: marriage, nerd, technology
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
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has 80.51 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.
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has 80.51 % from 2575 votes. More jokes about: gay, wife
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
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has 80.50 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
Why It Sucks to Be an Egg... You only get laid once, you only get hard once, and when you DO finally get hard, it takes under three minutes and you're already in hot water.
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has 80.50 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
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has 80.50 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: life, work
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks frustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
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has 80.49 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone
When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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has 80.48 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman. One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere... The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman. The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois". The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.
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has 80.48 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: desert island, ethnic, men, women
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
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has 80.48 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
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