Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Vote: has 80.13 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions: Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs? I don’t know. What color do her eyes have? I didn’t notice... But about dressing, how does she dress? Very fast...
Vote: has 80.13 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote: has 80.12 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her p*ssy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".
Vote: has 80.12 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Vote: has 80.12 % from 1763 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, sex, women
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Vote: has 80.11 % from 231 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
Vote: has 80.09 % from 309 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
Vote: has 80.09 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
Vote: has 80.08 % from 225 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor