Best jokes ever

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
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More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her. When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you." She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything." The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job." She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions.You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic." Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes!I'm single and I'm Catholic!" The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley." The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying. The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?" He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied...I'm married and I'm Jewish!" The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"
Vote: has 80.23 % from 791 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: gay
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Vote: has 80.23 % from 204 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT
Yo mamas so fat that when she stepped on a scale, buzz lightyear came out and said "to infinity and beyond!"
Vote: has 80.21 % from 1020 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.
Vote: has 80.19 % from 2367 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: gay, wife
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
Vote: has 80.19 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, doctor, health, hospital, life
A female police officer pulls over a drunk driver Officer: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law." Driver: "Tits"
Vote: has 80.19 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 80.19 % from 140 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.
Vote: has 80.19 % from 140 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, chemistry, nerd
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Vote: has 80.19 % from 140 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor


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