Best jokes ever

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
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has 80.29 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
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has 80.29 % from 696 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Received a call from a recruitment lady. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you." Me: "Yes I Know." *Awkward silence* She: "Asshole" Me: "I prefer the other one."
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has 80.27 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: dirty, work
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
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has 80.27 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
"Dad, whats the difference between a p*ssy and a c*nt ?" young son ask. "Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "that's a p*ssy son." "Its wonderful dad, can I touch it?" "NO son," says dad, "If you touch the p*ssy you'll wake the c*nt up!"
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has 80.27 % from 857 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: How old is your father? Johnny: As old as I am. Teacher: How is it possible? Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.
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has 80.26 % from 334 votes. More jokes about: age, little Johnny, teacher
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
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has 80.26 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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has 80.26 % from 461 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
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has 80.25 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?” The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
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has 80.25 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, college, couple
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