Best jokes ever

Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
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has 80.22 % from 471 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, game, history
A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."
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has 80.22 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: age, business, chocolate, kids
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
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has 80.21 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
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has 80.21 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Three guys (Asian, American, and a Mexican) are on a hot air balloon trying to get back home. Something punctured the hot air balloon so now its going down really fast. The three guys decided to throw stuff that they don't need away so the balloon won't fall down too fast. The Asian threw away rice and said, "I have a lot of this in my country." The Mexican threw away beans and said, "I have a lot of this in my country." The American threw over the Mexican. The Asian was like, "Why did you do that for?" The American said, "We have a lot of these in my country."
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has 80.21 % from 1697 votes. More jokes about: racist
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
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has 80.20 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God, “How long is a billion years to you?” God says, “A billion years is like a second to me.” The man asks, “Well, how much is a billion dollars to you?” God says, “A billion dollars is like a penny to me.” So the man says, “God, can I have a penny?” And God replies, “In a sec.”
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has 80.19 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: money
A lawyer was standing in a long line to get tickets for a theatre play. Suddenly, he felt the hands of the man behind him, kneading into his back. He turned and gave the man a stern look, and the kneading stopped. But a few minutes later, he again felt the man’s hands on his back. "Excuse me," the lawyer asked, "But why are you touching my back?" "I’m a chiropractor," the man replied, "and I sometimes I can’t keep myself from practicing my skills." "Get control of yourself," the lawyer shot back. "I’m an attorney, and you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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has 80.19 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
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has 80.19 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, single
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
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has 80.19 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: life, work
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