Best jokes ever

A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
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has 80.05 % from 275 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
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has 80.05 % from 275 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?” she asks. She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
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has 80.05 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, hospital, love, women
yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
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has 80.01 % from 2945 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
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has 80.01 % from 390 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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has 80.01 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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has 80.01 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.
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has 80.00 % from 346 votes. More jokes about: IT
The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: life, wife, work
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