Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Vote: has 79.84 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Vote: has 79.84 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Vote: has 79.83 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Vote: has 79.83 % from 211 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, cop, horse, kids, money
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
Vote: has 79.81 % from 386 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, relationship
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Vote: has 79.81 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week." "Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."
Vote: has 79.80 % from 557 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, teacher
I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Vote: has 79.78 % from 731 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asks. The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing lost of curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” and she processes his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”
Vote: has 79.77 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, wife, women