Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out.
A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?
A: Booger King!!!
A man and his wife enter a dentist's office.
The wife says "I need a tooth pulled.
No gas or Novocain -- I'm in a terrible hurry.
Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave woman," says the dentist.
"Now, show me which tooth it is."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
(A bear-faced lyre!)