Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out.
A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg?
Nothing, they’ve never met!
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?
A: Booger King!!!
A man and his wife enter a dentist's office.
The wife says "I need a tooth pulled.
No gas or Novocain -- I'm in a terrible hurry.
Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave woman," says the dentist.
"Now, show me which tooth it is."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
(A bear-faced lyre!)
A brunnette and a red haid were riding in the front of a pickup truck the blonde was in the back.
The truck crashed into the lake and the redhead and the brunnette made it to shore quickly but it took the blonde ten min.
They asked when she got there, "What took so long"?
The blonde replied, " I had to get the tailgate open".