My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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I'm not racist cuz racism is a crime, and crime ends in jail, and jail is for blacks.
One morning Lil Johnny walks into the classroom with no shirt on.
Teacher looks at him and asks where he has been.Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
The next day Johnny walks in with no pants on.
Teacher looks at him and asks where have you been.
Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
The next day Johnny comes in completly naked.
The teacher gasps and asks Johnny again where hes been.
Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
Johnny looks over his shoulder and sighs her she comes now.
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‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?”
And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’
Garry Shandling
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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A little girl came home from school and said to her mother,
“Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.
“The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible!
I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”