In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office.
The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in.
He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy.
The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl.
The cat is told to wait outside.
He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in.
The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining,
"I was sent to deliver him."
A javelin thrower called Vicky
Found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
She couldn't let go.
Making judging the distance quite tricky.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice!
A nigger goes to the doctor in South Africa.
He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room.
The nigger, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point:
Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition.
This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
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