Best jokes ever

Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants" The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, pirate
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: military
Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, science, work
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, time
<<<1284128512861287
More jokes →
Page 1284 of 1427.