Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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What's the definition of a poofter?
A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Mega-saur-ass
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.
A white family lives on the top floor.
A mexican family lives on the second floor.
A nigger family lives on the botom floor.
At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it.
Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.