Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are those?, asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger.
“Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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