Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married. Not to each other. But they were married.
I had two women in my bed the other day. I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
Chuck Norris made time wait.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.