What games do ants play with elephants? Squash!
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.
A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: "For Men Only." "I'm sorry, ma'am," says the bartender. "We only serve men in this place." "That's OK, "she says, "I'll take one of them."
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.