What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom?
Mom: Why? my child..
Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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