I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
‘It’s okay, Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break?
If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
What are cat-erpillars afraid of?
Dog-erpillars.
Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said a mosquito.
Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’
Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid on
An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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