Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float.
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says, "Yes, I Love them." Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?" Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused" Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face? A: Stop laughing and reload.
What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand? Football practice.
How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A. Frosted Flakes.
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, "How is this possible?" The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."