Best jokes ever

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cop
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: cop, work
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: game, sport
A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: "For Men Only." "I'm sorry, ma'am," says the bartender. "We only serve men in this place." "That's OK, "she says, "I'll take one of them."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? "When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, sport
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.? A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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