Best jokes ever

Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
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has 79.76 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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has 79.76 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
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has 79.76 % from 856 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, priest, sex, time
The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. "Do you realize what time it is?" she asked. He answered, "Dont get excited. Im late because I bought something for the house." Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?" His answer was, "A round of drinks!"
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, husband, time, wife
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life, ugly
I'm a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, wine
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, love, money, wife
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
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has 79.74 % from 1152 votes. More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks frustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
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has 79.74 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure.
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has 79.73 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: life
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