Best jokes ever

Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
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has 79.60 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: doctor, friendship, health, memory, money
*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*
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has 79.60 % from 1344 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex, women
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
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has 79.59 % from 932 votes. More jokes about: sex
Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. "Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" "Much better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then," he says, "now will you please pass the pussy."
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has 79.59 % from 651 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, sex
It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat.
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has 79.59 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: life
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card. Sex: F He laughs. Mom: "Whats so funny?" Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it." Husband died laughing.
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has 79.59 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, sex, wife
Did you heard about the guy who finally got the job at the tampon factory? He had to pull a lot of strings to get it.
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: work
What do you call a Ford Fiesta out of gas? A Ford Siesta!
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, travel
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman." The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats." At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut." A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
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has 79.56 % from 1321 votes. More jokes about: family, food, little Johnny, sex, Thanksgiving
Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, "Mine's OK. We get it on every week, but it's no big adventure. How's yours?" Sally replied, "It's great ever since we got into S&M." Sue was surprised. "Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you'd go for that." "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."
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has 79.56 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, sex, women
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