Best jokes ever

While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 79.52 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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has 79.52 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
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has 79.52 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mean, money, women
Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier. In half.
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has 79.52 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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has 79.51 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to play with his unit. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
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has 79.50 % from 1118 votes. More jokes about: sex
My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer. I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his porn.
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has 79.50 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: family, sex, work
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
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has 79.50 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, IT
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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has 79.50 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
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has 79.48 % from 385 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
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