Best jokes ever

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
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has 79.66 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, phone, work
A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil - if they can stump him, they're free to go to heaven instead. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question - to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well - but the Devil instantly gets the answer. When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it. She then sits down in the chair and farts. "Now," she says, "which hole did the fart come out of?" "That's easy," says the Devil. "All of them." "No, stupid! It came out of my butthole!"
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has 79.66 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”
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has 79.64 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, doctor, sex, women
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
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has 79.64 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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has 79.64 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
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has 79.63 % from 291 votes. More jokes about: death, morbid, terrorist
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asks. "Well," the man says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."
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has 79.63 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: church, life, work
Q: Why are all black people fast? A: The slow ones are in jail.
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has 79.62 % from 1949 votes. More jokes about: racist
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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has 79.62 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*
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has 79.61 % from 1340 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex, women
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