Best jokes ever

Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
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More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Tony ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash. "Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Tony asked the bartender. "Yep," the barkeep responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things: First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer. Then we've got a pit bull out back with an abscessed tooth, and it's up to you to yank it out. Finally, the 90-year old lady who owns this place is upstairs. If you can give her a multiple-orgasm, all the money's yours." Tony was up for it. He paid the fee and approached the hulking doorman. With a single blow, Tony knocked Spike cold. Triumphant, Tony stormed into the bar's backyard. The patrons listened to the pit bull's ferocious bark for several minutes, which was followed by a series of hysterical yelps. Covered with nicks and scratches, Tony reentered the saloon and yelled: "Two down! Now where's that old broad with the abscessed tooth?"
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, money
A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house. "This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... " "And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked. "This is a talking clock." "I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?" "Sure. Look," the student said. He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side, "What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!"
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, life, student, time
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says 'expired.'
Vote: has 79.35 % from 633 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote: has 79.35 % from 173 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. Then the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. "Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"
Vote: has 79.34 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Vote: has 79.34 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris