Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can fall up.
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has 79.75 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, " Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: old people
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a bit self-conscious about my advancing years. One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class. "Even the teacher is younger than I am," I said. "Yeah," he said optimistically, "but look at it from my point of view. I thought my days of fooling around with college girls were over!"
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."
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has 79.75 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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has 79.74 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: communication, cowboy, football, money, sport
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."
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has 79.73 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
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has 79.73 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
Three guys (Asian, American, and a Mexican) are on a hot air balloon trying to get back home. Something punctured the hot air balloon so now its going down really fast. The three guys decided to throw stuff that they don't need away so the balloon won't fall down too fast. The Asian threw away rice and said, "I have a lot of this in my country." The Mexican threw away beans and said, "I have a lot of this in my country." The American threw over the Mexican. The Asian was like, "Why did you do that for?" The American said, "We have a lot of these in my country."
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has 79.73 % from 1322 votes. More jokes about: racist
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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has 79.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
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