Best jokes ever

There was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'." "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'." The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."
Vote: has 79.58 % from 328 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: military
Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 1404 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, sex
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Vote: has 79.57 % from 1954 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
I'm a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, wine
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
If the customer is always right, then why isn't everything free?
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, money
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men


<<<136137138139
More jokes →
Page 136 of 1380.