Best jokes ever

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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has 79.35 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work
Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.
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has 79.35 % from 1094 votes. More jokes about: elephant, fat, Yo mama
Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
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has 79.35 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: beer, death, redneck
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession. At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people. Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this? The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.” Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?” He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!” So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?” He responds, “Get on line!”
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: car, life
Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
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has 79.34 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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has 79.33 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.
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has 79.33 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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has 79.32 % from 632 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, gym, IT
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I've had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"
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has 79.32 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: gay
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