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Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
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Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in.
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
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Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
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Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
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What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
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A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"
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What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
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