Best jokes ever

A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
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has 79.31 % from 497 votes. More jokes about: sex
A priest is walking through town at his new parish when a hooker approaches him. "Blowjobs for $20 if you're interested". Confused by this he smiles, blesses her and goes back to the church. He sees one of the nuns and asks her, "Sister, what's a blowjob?" She replies, "$20. Same as in town".
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has 79.29 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
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has 79.28 % from 1560 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
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has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: men
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked. "That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"
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has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, car, drunk
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
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has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, women
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
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has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: hipster, travel
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, life, time
Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you cant move.
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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