Yo Momma is so fat… That she broke a branch in her family tree!
I'm a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? A: Bronchitis.
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? A: In a nest-cafe!
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.