Best jokes ever

Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”
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has 79.32 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer
I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day. It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in." So I left it with a porn mag and a line of coke ...
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has 79.31 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school." "How much special?" "Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."
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has 79.31 % from 387 votes. More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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has 79.30 % from 371 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
Why did the Jews roam the desert for 400 years? Someone lost a quarter.
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has 79.29 % from 1091 votes. More jokes about: racist
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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has 79.29 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
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has 79.29 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: democrat, sex
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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has 79.28 % from 636 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, gym, IT
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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has 79.28 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, hunting, wife
Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
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has 79.28 % from 1565 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
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