Best jokes ever

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
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has 79.46 % from 1095 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year unaccompanied in Shemya, Alaska. The first night home, he told his wife he had something to show her. "I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!" And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether. "D**k, ten-HUT!" And with that, his d**k sprang to full erection. "D**k, at EASE!" And his d**k deflated again. "That was amazing," said his wife. "Can I bring over our neighbor to show her?" The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of his accomplishment. So his wife brought back a delicious looking woman. "D**k, ten-HUT!" And his penis sprang up. "D**k, at EASE!" Nothing. "D**k, at EASE!" Still nothing. "For the last time, D**k at EASE!" Frustratingly enough, nothing happened. Embarrassed, he ran off to the bathroom. Worried, his wife ran after and found that he was vigorously masturbating. "What are you doing?" "I'm giving this guy a dishonorable discharge!"
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has 79.46 % from 342 votes. More jokes about: air force, masturbation, military, time, wife
Man gives blood too save his wifes life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."
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has 79.45 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
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has 79.45 % from 1120 votes. More jokes about: sex
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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has 79.44 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan.
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has 79.42 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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has 79.41 % from 640 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, gym, IT
Yo momma so fat when she fell, no one laughed, but the ground started cracking up.
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has 79.41 % from 1179 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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has 79.41 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, genie, men, money
Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.
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has 79.40 % from 1112 votes. More jokes about: elephant, fat, Yo mama
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