Best jokes ever

If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
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has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
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has 79.47 % from 1488 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
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has 79.46 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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has 79.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier. The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughters private part. The next mornning the king checks the guys private part and there's green glitter all over it. More and more guys come along and the same thing keeps happening. Finally, one day this guy comes along. The king puts the green glitter on his daughters private part, and the next mornning checks the guys privates and there was no green glitter. The king is thrilled and offers the man his daughters hand in marriage. The guy smiles to accept with a mouth full of green glitter.
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has 79.46 % from 2211 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex
One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow. "What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified. "Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."
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has 79.45 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor
Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."
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has 79.43 % from 1435 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, sex
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
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has 79.42 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
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has 79.41 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
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has 79.41 % from 949 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
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