Best jokes ever

Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, life
President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home. The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him. Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?" The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: memory, old people, political
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fitness
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: travel, weather, work
An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I'm not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish." The accountant is understanding and says, "All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?" There's a long silence and finally the genie says, "Let's have another look at that map."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, genie, war, work
You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, insulting
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men