Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Roses are red "just like blood" Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo" So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out And shows me 1 thing your shit.
Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.